The bodyguard of Hitman’s wife, 2021.
Directed by Patrick Hughes.
Starring Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas, Morgan Freeman, Frank Grillo, Richard E. Grant, Blake Ritson, Gabriella Wright and Tomi May.
The world’s deadliest weird couple – bodyguard Michael Bryce and Hitman Darius Kincaid – have returned to another life-threatening mission. Still unauthorized and under surveillance, Bryce is forced into action by Darius ’more unstable wife, the infamous international cheater Sonia Kincaid. As the two most dangerous patrons drive Bryce over the edge, the trio gets over their heads in a global plot and soon realizes that they are all standing between Europe and the vengeful and powerful madman.
Director Patrick Hughes seems to think that entertainment comes from forcing the situation to be as crowded, loud and tasteless as chaotic. Admittedly, such an approach worked in the 2017 century Hitman’s bodyguard, presumably because that madness is easier to control when only Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson play each other. On the other hand, The bodyguard of Hitman’s wife is aggressively annoying, and no one wants to turn down the volume inside a real theater, even if it’s for the first time in over a year. It’s not a good sign when you feel that an irritated and worn-out protagonist who wants to leave the international terrorist threat is free from the overload of the temptations of young people that even 13-year-olds are likely to get bored quickly.
Nonetheless, Ryan Reynolds returns as Michael Bryce, still an unauthorized AAA assassin after the shameful events that are the nominal bodyguard for Samuel L.Jackson’s career criminal Darius Kincaid. He dreams once a night where he wins a prestigious bodyguard award that quickly turns into a nightmare every time Darius shows up to assassinate the protected. It’s a reminder of Michael’s failure and the focus of his therapy sessions, where he has a breakthrough that he should put on bodyguard work while he needs much-needed vacation in search of spiritual awakening (which Michael sees leaving voicemails for his hopeful new and improved future himself).
The serenity does not last long. Blocking all the noise with headphones, the shooting begins on an Italian beach when Darius ’battered and sexually suggestive wife Sonia (Salma Hayek) comes to the rescue and informs her that her equally brazen husband has been abducted and specifically asked Michael to release her. Michael refuses to use deadly weapons, Michael reluctantly does after asking only to find out that Sonia had an obedient Darius who said a request for help from non-Michael. Butting heads, as usual, they also can’t go their own way when Interpol stops them and holds them accountable for preventing pre-emptive data breaches across Europe and trying to shut down the power across the continent.
Apart from the fact that Antonio Banderas plays Greek criminal principals backed by a bunch of hackers, I also couldn’t tell you the damn thing about the plot The bodyguard of Hitman’s wife. Nor is it easy to say that screenwriters Brandon and Philip Murphy (based on characters created by Tom O’Connor) don’t care either, as they speed up everything related to the characters ’motivations and clarity of purpose. One would assume that the narrative might return to its stages somewhat after our three conflicting heroes have come together, but things just go more sand.
I’m not going to pretend that the first film was an underrated comic gem, but the chemistry of Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L.Jackson is fresh and has the energy to overcome the reality that it’s also Looney tunes cartoon violence and toilet humor. And while it’s not Salma Hayek’s fault, Sonia’s bombshell and sex-crazy (now with baby fever) personality hints at the scales for grating noise. It would also be easier to go along with this great violent instability if filmmakers were interested in doing anything but countless hollow sex jokes (there is a section where all three are knocked unconscious when the dart falls into a sexual position) and cacophony explosions.
The latter would be fun if the litany of car hunts and battles were not modified at random and rushed to a point where it’s hard to tell what the characters are doing half the time; although it is clear what is happening, none of them will be remembered. It’s also an impressive failure, given that Samuel L.Jackson is starting to crush the heads of the attacker, and of all the people, Morgan Freeman gets his own hand-in-hand fighting environment. It’s also better to leave it experienced rather than telling him who Morgan Freeman is playing, because that stretch at least shows that when the bullets don’t fly, funny thoughts went into the backgrounds of these characters. The short exhibition also teases the possibility that something fascinating will happen to some of the protagonists, but not before settling back into the generally overrepresented massacres.
During the climax, some goons rise from the water with mechanical devices that do nothing but make them easy targets for sending to Michael, so if nothing else, The bodyguard of Hitman’s wife is sometimes self-aware of his stupidity and tries to interpret the ridiculous aspects of the spy species. It just decides to go that route too late. The bodyguard of Hitman’s wife is certainly a lousy film, but also a rare case where not so many adjustments are needed to find something valuable; it needs more attention to the characters (their friendship partner is more attractive during quieter moments of absurdity) and some harsh tightening up on the action sets, and maybe one or two more clues as to what the hell is going on in the plots. Even a selection of charismatic talents can’t save things this time.
Flickering myth rating – Movie: ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also a reporter for flickering myth reviews. Check here For new reviews, follow mine Twitter or Letterboxdor send an email to [email protected]